Excuses for Stopping
The post is brought to you by my wife, Heather. Please be nice to her
****** It was time for Dane and I to have a discussion — the, “our baby is approaching 15 months old, do we want to have another one?” discussion. We currently have three wonderful, healthy children. At one point in this discussion I told my husband that I would probably feel guilty for not having more. He was surprised and asked why I should feel guilty. So I told him and the answer surprised him even more. Actually, this is why I am writing this. He wanted me to share this experience. As a disclaimer, I was not raised to believe that women are baby machines. In fact, I was taught that having a family and kids was a good thing, but the number of children was up to us. My siblings and I all decided that if/when we had kids we would try for at least two. I learned all about the quotes that say, basically, “How many kids you have is between you, your spouse and the Lord.” So in no way can I ever remember being told that I should have a certain number of kids. But, if I don’t have more, unless I am really, really sure about it, I will probably feel guilty for not having more. I feel that there is this expectation among the sisters, despite what has been said, to have at least 4 children unless there is some reason to stop before that number is reached. Socially acceptable reasons to stop include: age (usually mid thirties) fertility problems multiple c-sections pregnancy complications labor complications illness a handicapped child doctor’s orders (I’m not referring to the personal beliefs of the doctor, but the ones who tell them to stop for a medical reason) a priesthood blessing husband in the military There are probably a few I have left out but you get the idea So where does it leave those of us who are a few years shy of 30, who just feel like we’re done having kids
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Excuses for Stopping